Yet Will I Try the Last
When I’ve hearkened back to the period that my mother was terminally ill in 1999, I’ve always referred to it as “the bad old days.” I was so exhausted — by trying to keep up with the political...
View Article“Fathering” and mothering
As rich as our language is, sometimes it lacks the just-right word. Often, in my father’s final days, he said as I helped him, “Everyone needs a mother.” When we “mother” someone, we watch over them....
View ArticleCan This Love Last?
In the wake of Dad’s death, I am deeply reflective. We hear a lot about how hard caregiving is on caregivers, and I admit to feeling at my wit’s end during the most challenging periods of my Dad’s...
View ArticleBlessed by God
When I spoke to my cousin, Lynn Fawcett Whiting, on the evening that Dad died, she told me she had just sent the following email to me about sending up a prayer on his behalf. Dad died sometime in the...
View ArticleA Long Day’s Journey Into Night* (with Congestive Heart Failure)
Iphone portrait with Dad on our flight to Seattle After three heart attacks, three open heart surgeries and three strokes, my brothers and I often wondered, what would finally “get” Dad? Over the last...
View ArticleLet Us Cross Over the River
Dad pointing out fish on the North Umpqua in 1999, shortly after Mom’s death With Mom’s death and now Dad’s, I’ve noticed that it takes time to expurgate the image of them near death – diminished and...
View ArticlePlanning My Father’s Memorial
Every day for weeks, I have written a different set of remarks to share at my Dad’s memorial service on February 16. All in my head. Do I talk about how he softened as he aged, what a remarkable role...
View ArticleMy brother Dean took Dad home
Of my three brothers, Dean is closest in age to me, just three years older. As he explained in his remarks at yesterday’s memorial, he and I knew the kinder, gentler version of Dad. Dad used to say...
View ArticleI’m not done
Celebrating a friend’s 50-year milestone birthday My father had several pet peeves when it came to American usage. When asked, “Were you in the military?” he would answer, “No.” He was a Marine, which...
View ArticleDad’s Affair with the Military History Channel
My Dad was an avid reader. Foreign Affairs kept him current on geo-political dynamics. The Economist informed him about money and economies around the world. The New York Times and Christian Science...
View ArticleWhat Will Happen To Me?
What will happen to me? My father often asked this question. Like answering a child who wonders where babies come from, I gave the simplest answer. I knew that money had been a concern of...
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